The Wife’s Special Power
The situation I have just described is one of the main reasons that marriages today have become less stable, that so many married couples—sixty to seventy percent, I’m told—are experiencing difficulties and breaking up. But couples never get married with the intent of breaking up. Never. The praṇic forces do it. You put two magnets together one way and they attract one another. Turn one around, and they repel each other. The same force that brought the people together, when it is not handled right, makes them pull apart and hate each other. They can’t see eye to eye. Then to make up, they go out to dinner to talk it over—in another frustrating, asuric situation, as far out in the world as they can get—to try to make up. When that doesn’t help, they come home still frustrated. If they went to the nearby temple and worshiped the family Deity together, that would help. They would return home in a different state of mind and discover that their vibration had changed. Why does it help to go to the temple? Because the God is in the temple, the Deity is there to adjust the forces of the inner nerve system, to actually change the forces of mind and emotion.
In the home, the mother is likened to the Śakti Deity. She is the power, the very soul of the home. None other. So she has to be there. She has to be treated sensitively and kindly, and with respect. She has to be given all the things she needs and everything she wants so she will release her śakti power to support her husband, so that he is successful in all his manly endeavors. When she is hurt, depressed, frustrated or disappointed, she automatically withdraws that power, compromising his success in the outside world along with it. People will draw away from him. His job, business or creative abilities will suffer. This is her great siddhi, her inborn power, which Hindu women know so well.
It is the man’s duty, his purusha dharma, to provide for her and for the children. The husband should provide her with all the fine things, with a good house which she then makes into a home, with adornments, gold and jewels and clothes, gold hanging down until her ears hurt, more bracelets, more things to keep her in the home so she is feeling secure and happy. In return she provides a refuge, a serene corner of the world where he can escape from the pressures of daily life, where he can regain his inner perspective, perform his religious sādhana and meditations, then enjoy his family. Thus, she brings happiness and peace of mind to her family, to the community and to the world.
NANDINATHA SŪTRA 135: LIMITING THE STAY OF GUESTS
Śiva’s householder followers, to protect family sanctity and avoid magnetic entanglements, do not allow adult guests in their home for more than three nights who are not part of their extended family. Aum Namaḥ Śivāya.