The Death of The Small Self
When the emotions begin to react in a systematic way, and hate and fear and jealousy and love and passion and all of those emotions begin to function properly, and awareness flows out into the conscious mind, the physical body begins to assume a mature, intelligent appearance. You can look at the person and judge, “By looking at his body, I see that he is an intelligent man.” That means all of his instinctive and intellectual faculties are developed and working simultaneously together. However, he may be yet to turn inward. Perhaps you can ascertain this by looking into his eyes. Perhaps in this life he will turn inward, when he has satisfied some of his desires he is setting into motion. As soon as he begins to turn inward, he begins to nourish his spiritual body. It starts to grow within the emotional body. It grows like a child, fed by all of his good deeds. All of his selflessness and selfless actions toward others feed that body. All of his working with himself, conquering instinctive emotions within himself, is food for that body, as it draws from the central source of energy. All of his selfishness and greed and giving power to the instinctive elements starve this spiritual body. You have heard about the suffering of the soul. As it unfolds, it cries out and wants more attention. This is man’s struggle within himself.
Finally, the spiritual body grows up into a mature body and unfolds the subsuperconscious mind, grows up more and becomes aware in the superconscious mind, taking on more spiritual force from the Infinite. Ultimately, it takes over the astral emotional-intellectual body.
That is the whole story of the inner awakening that is occurring within each of us. The mere fact that it makes sense to you as you read about it means you are in the process of this experience of superconsciousness moving out into the conscious plane.
Ultimately, you begin to go through the harrowing experiences of past karma with your eyes firmly set upon your ultimate goal: Self Realization. As you live your life in service to mankind, reprogramming your subconscious and facing all of the things that you didn’t face fully through your many past lives while working with your emotions and intellect, finally you come to the crucifixion of the ego. This happens when your last experiences have begun to fade and you no longer see yourself as a “Mr. Somebody” who came from some community somewhere, who is of a certain nationality and who, incidentally, distinguishes himself from all other people because he is on the path to enlightenment and he knows a lot of people that are not.
This great spiritual pride of the personal ego finally is crucified. It is put on the cross of man’s own spiritual discernment. The death of the ego is a tremendous experience. You go through the dark night of the soul and feel that your family, friends and even the Gods have deserted you. During this time, you do not see light anymore. You see blackness all through the body, as all of the accumulated experiences of the many, many lives come in on you and you are not even aware where your awareness is in the mind. You can’t figure it all out. It happens too rapidly. Then finally: “I am That. I am.” You burst into the Self God.