Category: Merging With Siva

Facing Old Memories

When man finally turns inward, sits down and asks “Who am I? Where did I come from? Where am I going?” what is the first thing he discovers? The subconscious mind, of course.

Do not be afraid of the subconscious. It is useless to be afraid of the past. If memories come up from the subconscious as if they happened yesterday, and you begin reacting emotionally and even physically all over again, say to yourself, “Welcome, welcome, welcome, memory from the past. My goodness, you’re shaking my emotional body. I remember going through these emotional states years ago, and here we are reliving this film over again. But now I am on the spiritual path to enlightenment. I am the Self. One day I’m going to realize it fully. I only live in this physical body. I use these emotions, but I won’t be used by them. They are my tools. So here you are, my memory pattern, trying to make me feel like I did five years ago before I reprogrammed my subconscious and awakened spiritually. O, memory from the past, you have tested me well. Thank you.” Then, like a good secretary, write down on a piece of paper everything you can remember about these experiences that have come before your vision, and burn the paper when you have finished. Write down the entire experience that you are reacting to emotionally.

This paper-burning serves three purposes. First, it is symbolic to the subconscious that you are not going to react anymore to that particular problem. You have, through the act of writing it down, taken it out of the subconscious. Second, burning the paper means that no one else will read it, which might cause other problems. It also means that through the act of burning subconscious memories, you have released them forever.

When you begin to meditate, you become keen and perceptive enough to begin to see within yourself. Occasionally, you will see into the subconscious area and begin emotionally to relive the past. This means that many of the predominantly strong memory and reactionary patterns of the past loom up before you, one after another, and you may begin to react to them all over again, emotionally and even physically. These are not real experiences. It is only a layer of the subconscious exposing itself to your inner vision, indicating that reprogramming is needed. Handle each layer dynamically. Welcome the thoughts and accompanying feelings in a hospitable way. Do not fear them or regret them, and certainly do not criticize yourself for having them. Simply remove them from the subconscious by writing them down and burning the paper. The reaction will subside, but the memory will linger as an education upon which you can formulate decisions for the future, thus avoiding the same problem.

A Channel To Intuition

Why does intuition come at this time? Your mind being at rest and no longer disturbed, intuition can flow through it unhampered. Then, too, the elements of a problem have a way of piecing themselves together in the subconscious when it is allowed to relax. Your best answers often come after you have removed the searchlight of your conscious mind’s focus for a time. This is the superconscious working through the subconscious, making it subsuperconscious.

You have now unfolded the key to living an intuitive and productive life. People who live positive lives have clear goals well impressed in the subconscious mind. They often draw upon their subsuperconscious mind, though they may call it by another name—perception, insight, intuition, instinct or sixth sense.

The subconscious mind may appear to be a very complex state of mind, as anything is when we do not understand it. Through daily sādhana you will learn how to clear the subconscious of its unnatural states of confusion and how to keep it clear, transparent. Through sādhana you will understand the relationship of the subconscious to the instinctive mind.

The subconscious mind performs many, many functions for us. In fact, it would be impossible to do without it. But think of some of the uses of the subconscious—the skills which your memory bank acquires, such as typing, driving, playing musical instruments or speaking a language. As soon as any learning process becomes subconscious, the conscious mind is free to direct its attention to new areas of learning. Even all the processes of the physical body are governed by the subconscious mind. Can you imagine having to think through and control your heartbeat, or your digestion every time you enjoyed a meal, or the intricacies of muscular coordination? It is only when we interfere with the natural processes of the subconscious—which are very intelligent if left alone—that we become aware of our dependence upon this positive state of mind.

Here is an exercise in using the subconscious constructively. Before going to sleep at night, decide what time you want to awaken yourself in the morning. Visualize the hands of a clock at that time and impress yourself with the feeling of waking up at the particular hour which you set for yourself. Then, just before you go to sleep, forcefully impress your subconscious with the command to awaken yourself at whatever hour you have chosen. Confidently anticipate that your subconscious will do this. Don’t worry, don’t doubt, don’t question—just observe the way in which your subconscious works for you if you but let it.

The subconscious mind is a storehouse, a reflection of all previous conscious mind experiences. The power of our decisions creates our reactions of tomorrow. When tomorrow’s reactions happen, they program the subconscious. We have to be careful that our programming is just right, so that the channels to superconsciousness begin to open through the subconscious.

Resolving Past Experiences

Suppose when you were young you stole some money from your mother’s purse. “She promised me this once and broke her promise,” you rationalize. “Besides, I really need it,” you add. Then, because you are not particularly pleased with yourself, you pack this experience away in a corner of the subconscious where you will not need to think about it. You suppress it. But the next day, your mother casually mentions the subject of money to you, and you react or emotionally re-enact the experience. You feel guilty. Not wanting to think about it, you suppress it again, deeper in the subconscious. Suppose then later in life your mother has become seriously ill, and in a reflective mood you realize that you have not been close to her for many years. Mixed in with a rush of buried memories you come across the incident of the stolen money.

For the first time you appreciate and realize the sense of guilt that had lingered, influencing your life since that time in a hundred subtle ways. In the light of understanding, the experience suddenly becomes clear to you, and you objectively and unemotionally see yourself as you were at that time. You feel relieved and strangely lifted, not because you were able to analyze why you stole the money, but because in totally facing and accepting yourself in that circumstance you realize that you have expanded beyond it into a new realm.

Intuition travels through a purified subconscious. Before we can utilize the superconscious or intuitive realms of the mind, we must be able to resolve those past experiences which may still vibrate in our subconscious. Realize, however, that you need not seek out mental repressions. Simply face each one honestly as it naturally arises in life. Imagine that you are trying to arrive at an important business or family decision. All the facts you need to know have already been outlined, yet you find yourself frustrated in not being able to arrive at a clear decision. The more you concentrate upon the problem, the more obscure does the answer seem. What your conscious mind isn’t aware of is that the personality problems you are having with your superior at the office, or with your spouse at home, are clouding the issue. Soon after, while relaxing on a family outing, thinking about nothing in particular, a great feeling of compassion, forgiveness and understanding wells up within you, and all at once that “bright idea” needed to solve the problem comes to you unbidden.

The Form of the Subconscious

What is your subconscious mind? Think about this for a minute. Realize that everything that has once passed through your conscious mind in the form of experience is resident right now within your subconscious. Not only that, but imbedded within the cellular structure of your body, in the DNA code—one of the most formidable discoveries of modern science—lie all the experiences of your genetic history. The life, the biological evolution of your forefathers, is all registered in the molecular strands of your subconscious, capable of being recalled into memory.

In our study together we will be concerned with much more than the negative areas of the subconscious. We will discover that the subconscious can be a great help in our daily life—once we learn to impress it properly, and consciously utilize the latent powers within it. Then it ceases to be a deterrent to well-being, and becomes a valuable tool, available at all times and under all circumstances as we progress through the experiences of life.

The subconscious mind, like the conscious mind, has a form of its own. It is given form, shape and momentum by the nature of your experiences in life and the way you react to them. Most people are not happy with the form of their subconscious mind. They are still reacting to early experiences, early environments. Some people go to great expense in trying to change the form of their subconscious through therapy or travel, but because there is no absolution in either, in time they generally manage to recreate their subconscious in the same old form. Childhood experiences do have a profound influence on one’s make-up in this life, but these influences are by no means binding. Any attitude, any personality conflict or block in the subconscious can be demagnetized and resolved.

How do we change the form of the subconscious? We purify it by resolving in understanding those experiences which have created it. How do we resolve those experiences through understanding? We bring them up into the light and face them without reaction. By resolving our reactive experiences in understanding, the subconscious becomes more and more transparent to our own view and, therefore, necessarily undergoes positive change. To be able to objectively observe one’s own experiences without reaction is one of the powers acquired through the performance of sādhana.

The Meaning Of Detachment

You have heard the statement “Being in the world, but not of it.” This is done through detachment. It is an attitude. It is a perspective. It is how we hold ourselves within that really matters. Basically, that is the only difference in the beginning stages between one who is on the spiritual path and one who is not on the path—it is how awareness is held within, the perspective from which the conscious mind is viewed and responded to.

The conscious mind is created and ramified by man himself. It is carried on by its own novelty. It goes on and on and on, and awareness can go on and on and on and on in it. Only in those quiet moments of retrospection does someone who lives in the conscious mind relax, turn inward and understand a little philosophy. This pondering gives release, a new influx of energy. The object in being on the spiritual path is not to have just a little influx of energy, but to be the energy itself—consciously. The object is to have awareness basically attached to the primal life force, and to see that and experience that as the real thing, rather than be attached to a collection of possessions and memories in the material world.

Anyone who is strongly in the conscious mind has a feeling of possession and a feeling of fear. We’re afraid of losing possessions. We own something. We love it! We break it! We cry! Our nerve system hurts when the odic force detaches. It was attached to that which we owned. Emotional involvement is a function of odic force. Holding awareness within the higher states of mind does not mean we cannot own anything. It means we will love it more when we do, but we will not be attached to it to the point that we become emotionally torn when it goes away.

Understanding of the forces comes as we unfold on the path. Someone who is not involved deeply in the conscious mind is not subject to as many instinctive emotions. He is more of a real person, more himself. Most people think of the conscious mind as the entirety of the mind. But actually it is only one-tenth of the mind’s entirety and, therefore, should not frighten us in any way. Nor should we wish to retreat from the conscious mind. The only retreat is simply to detach awareness from that which it is aware of and allow it to go soaring within to that indefinable source from which all energies spring. Dive into the source and lose awareness within it and attain your ultimate goal.

Conscious and Subconscious

Remember, the sum total of the conscious mind only knows what has preceded it, what has gone before it—the past, what it can remember. It will only accept that which seems to be reasonable. So when the process of going inward persists, the sheaths have to be removed, one after another. The senses have to be quieted, the subconscious mind reeducated. This is how the conscious mind and the subconscious mind work hand in hand.

The subconscious mind is like a great computer. It responds to the programming that has been set in motion through all the previous lives. Our reaction and habit patterns of this life form our tendencies of the next life, and the tendencies of our last life make our reactions and habit patterns of this life. Life after life after life, we have been programming the subconscious mind. It has been mainly programmed by awareness caught in the instinctive emotions of the senses of the conscious mind itself.

The conscious mind can become just as vast and wonderful, or as terrible, as we want to make it. It is not to be feared. It is not to be ignored, either. It is to be understood. The conscious mind is a state of mind just like all the others, for there is only one mind. Our individual awareness flows through the various phases of that one mind.

The conscious mind is primarily an odic force structure. Odic force is the emanation of actinic force through the physical body. Hidden tendencies, repressions, suppressions and reactionary habit patterns accumulate in the subconscious mind and give enough ballast of odic force for awareness to be neatly attached to everything of which it is aware. We are then in the conscious mind most of the time, and not inwardly oriented.

When people are caught in the conscious mind and believe it to be absolute, they believe in finite terms such as: “When you’re dead, you’re dead. So live your life and really get as much as you can out of it, because when you’re dead, you’re dead, and that’s the end of it.” They believe that the external world is absolutely real, and that anything of an inner life is simply imagination. They live a rather shallow life, perpetuated by their emotional habit patterns and reactions. They anger quickly. They are quick to become jealous. They are suspicious, and they become emotionally attached to other people, with whom they later argue or fight. They love to be entertained. They seek entertainment, trying to get more of everything that is possible to get. Their desire nature is never satisfied in their conscious-mind experience. Awareness has been enmeshed in these conscious-mind desire cycles for such a long period of time that to release it and dive deep within, we must first gain mastery of awareness through attention and concentration.

After awareness is wise to the conscious mind and the subconscious has been positively reprogrammed, attention and concentration bring us into subsuperconscious states. We begin to breathe regularly and diaphragmatically. We become aware of only one thing at a time in the physical world, allowing one thing to attract our attention, rather than continuing to ramify. This practice begins to weave awareness into subsuperconscious, perceptive states.