A Personal Testimony
By way of illustration I will ask you now to read a fine message we received from a Śaivite lady in Sri Lanka who follows beautifully the spirit of strī dharma.
“I am a Hindu wife and take pride and pleasure in being one. I am a graduate of the London University and was a teacher in a girls’ school before I got married in 1969. I belong to an orthodox Śaivite Hindu family, and when I reached age twenty-six my parents proposed a marriage. My future husband, too, hailed from an orthodox Śaivite family and was thirty years of age. After our parents discussed and decided upon details, an opportunity was afforded to us to meet. The venue was a Gaṇeśa temple, and the time was 7AM As each of us stepped into the temple from different directions almost simultaneously, the temple bells started ringing to herald the 7:00 pūjā. ‘A good omen,’ both of us thought independently. After the pūjā was over, we were introduced to each other by my mother. Out of inborn shyness and a certain amount of fear of meeting a stranger, I was hardly able to look up and even see the color of the man who was going to be the lord of my life. I heard him talk and even noticed him gazing meaningfully at me all the time. The ‘confrontation’ lasted about ten minutes, and we parted. Each of us approved the selection so carefully made by our parents and, to make a long story short, our marriage was solemnized in due course.
“From the date of marriage, I resigned my job as teacher because my duties as a housewife appeared more onerous and more responsible. My husband earned enough to maintain a family, and we started setting up a home of our own. I brought in some money by way of a dowry, and this helped us to furnish our home with all essential requirements. We loved each other very much and lived like Śiva and Śakti. The most important corner of our house is the shrine room where our day-to-day life starts every morning.
“I get up from bed at 5AM every day. After a wash, I enter the shrine room and clean up the place. Remnants of flowers from the previous day’s pūjā are removed, the brass lamps and vessels are polished, water is sprinkled on the floor and the place kept ready for the day’s pūjā, performed by my husband. Then the kitchen is swept and the pots and pans washed. Water is kept on the gas to boil, and I go for a bath. Returning from the bath, I do a short prayer and pick flowers for my husband’s pūjā. By now it is 6AM—the time my husband awakens. I go to the bedroom and wait there ready to greet him for the day. He looks upon me as the Lakshmī of the home, and it pleases him a lot to wake in my presence—all gleaming with holy ash and kumkum pottu on my forehead. As soon as he gets up, he goes out for a half-hour walk and is back home by 6:30 A cup of coffee is now ready for him. He takes this and, after five minutes’ rest, enjoys a fine bath. He then makes the necessary preparations for the pūjā. I could do this myself, but my husband feels these preparations are also a part of the pūjā. Sharp at 7AM the pūjā starts. I join him and so do our children (we now have two boys and a girl). It is a pleasure to watch my husband at pūjā, which he does very piously and meticulously. At 7.30 we come out of the shrine room for our breakfast. I personally serve my lord and the children meals prepared by my own hands and then get the two elder children ready for school. By 8:30 all the three are out of the house on their respective missions. I then clean up the house, put my little three-year-old son to sleep and by 9:30 I am back in the kitchen preparing lunch.
“In the evening I am dressed up and ready for an outing with my husband and children. Almost every day he takes us out, but occasionally he comes home tired and prefers to remain indoors. At 6PM I start cooking the dinner and at 7:00 we have a joint prayer in the shrine room. Dinner at 7:30 then a little bit of reading, listening to the radio, some chit chat and off to bed by 9:30 This has been my routine for the last eleven years, and I have enjoyed every minute of it.
“In the house, I give first place to my husband. It has never been my custom to find fault with him for anything. He understands me so much and so well that he is always kind, loving, gentle and compassionate towards me. I reciprocate these a hundredfold, and we get on very well. My husband is the secretary of a religious organization, and I give him every help and encouragement in his work. My household duties keep me fully occupied, and so I don’t engage myself in other activities. I respect my husband’s leadership in the home, and so life goes on smoothly.”
NANDINATHA SŪTRA 140: TIMELY OBSERVANCE OF SACRAMENTS
Śiva’s followers provide their children the essential sacraments at the proper times, especially name-giving, first feeding, head-shaving, ear-piercing, first learning, rites of puberty and marriage. Aum Namaḥ Śivāya