A cyberspace devotee in Singapore, Skanda, has been reading ‘Merging with Siva’, a beautiful book on contemporary metaphysics of the Sanatana Dharma. He wonders, “How much should you merge with Siva, if you are a householder? You seem to warn against that.”
Well Skanda, there are various ways that you can merge with Siva. In the book itself, some of them are listed. But, there are still more.
If you, being a married person, give your wife everything she needs and everything she wants, then you release her Siva energy. Her shakti will flow through you. That is one of the very basic fulfillments of your grihasta dharma, your family dharma in merging with Siva.
Skanda, if you have children and you take care of your children, educate them properly in Sanatana Dharma and see that they understand karma, reincarnation, dharma and all the basic principles of our religion and apply them to their lives, then you are, a little bit more, merging with Siva.
If you only speak that which is true, kind, helpful, necessary, never become angry, live in higher consciousness, treat everybody with love and kindness, then you are merging with Siva, a little bit more .
But here is the caution. If you start practicing extreme yoga – fire breathing, long periods of meditation – then you separate yourself from your family and from the world. You cannot, therefore, fulfill your householder duties. You are making a bad karma, which is destructive to the path of merging with Siva, as a family person.